The Snow White Princess and US
by happyside
Summary: do you seriously think that the seven dwarves were just standby characters? well if its like that then the tittle should just be Snow White Period . right? am i right? the seven dwarves also have their own life! this is their untold story...
1. The one who never smiles

**So…uhmmm…this will be my first uploaded story here in fanfic…im sorry that's its too long!! But still…please bare with me and read it! Snow white and the 7 dwarves is one of my favorite fairytales so I decided to make a fanfic series about it… please give your reviews later!! Im counting on you guys!! : )**

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She was a princess and I was a miner. She was as bright as the nearest star and I was as glum as a dark, stormy day. She was always cheerful and I was always grumpy. Right now I think that back then she has just turned 16 and I believe that I'm 18 now. She stands at 5'2 and the last time I checked I'm 3'2. She's always smiling but you can't hide the fact that she looks like a real mature woman, I maybe grumpy all the time but I still look like a 9 year old boy. The princess and me is as different as the sun and the moon, but that doesn't end there, she is a human and I am a dwarf.

I could still clearly remember the day we all met her, the seven of us. She was lying on our beds, yes, all of our beds! She lined up all of our beds so that she can lie down. Everybody instantly got mesmerized by her beauty, her black as ebony hair, her blood colored lips and most of all her snow white skin. Everybody instantly thought that she was an angel from above and we all should take responsibility for her, well, except for me. While the princess is sound asleep, I tried to talk some sense into everybody's heads, I told them that maybe that girl is a fugitive and people maybe out to get her and we will all get into trouble if we take her in. But nobody listened to me, they were much too captivated by her. They all felt too much sympathy for her, but I don't. She lined up all of our beds, well, I would never forgive her for that fact alone, but she put my bed on the end where her feet are! It was so annoying to see somebody's dirty foot on top of your bed, even though I have to admit her foot is very dainty for someone who had been running around the forest.

The next morning, she woke up. Everybody was so excited to talk with her, they all cooked her something to eat, well except for me, I made some hot chocolate, but it wasn't for her, I was going to drink it but then she said thank you and the next thing I now I was empty handed and she was drinking down my hot chocolate. What an idiot! She told all of us her story, and I have to say, I have never been so correct. She was a fugitive and they were all coming to get her, well that's how I interpreted it but, that's not how she said it, she told us that the queen, yes the queen of our kingdom, her mother, is jealous of her beauty and is going to kill her. Back then, I couldn't careless if she gets killed or if she escapes or whatever, I just want to drink my hot chocolate.

Days passed and things, got more and more…different. The house was cleaner than usual, the house always smells like something cooking, the garden is always blooming with flowers and everybody else except for me is always smiling, that's because I don't like change! I like the house better when it smells like us, well, we are all men, I think, because I'm not too sure about Bashful because he was always blushing too hard that it was a kind of hard to tell. Anyway, I also hate that the front of our house is always filled with flowers because it was more practical to plant vegetables, because at least we can eat vegetables. The only new thing that I kind of liked was that…her cooking was…I don't know…more tasty than the gruel we usually eat with objects that were hardly recognizable, but I am not saying that it was delicious! Well, back then I would never admit that her cooking was delicious, but now that I think about it, back when she was with us, everyday felt like Christmas, the dishes prepared by her are the most delicious things that I have ever tasted in my entire life.

Well, these things happen day after day, until the incident that happened at Happy's 20th birthday. She baked this 20 layered cake, she said that every layer represented a year on Happy's life. Happy was very happy, he was very excited too. Yeah, now that I think about it the cake looked really great, every layer has a different color. I don't know much about the names of colors but since I'm miner, I see many colors everyday because of the gems that we mine. Anyways, I think that back then I was also kind of excited, even though I don't want to admit it, I was really happy, I think that for the first time in my life I was as happy as Happy. But, that's not really the point here, the only thing that I can remember is that when I feel incredibly happy I become really clumsy. After she finished baking the whole cake, I was really hoping to be the first one to see it, so I hurriedly come to the kitchen. I didn't notice that Sleepy was sleeping on one of the table's chairs and he was rocking his chair and I accidentally tripped and I accidentally pushed her. She lost her balance and so did the cake. She stood up and smiled at me, I can clearly remember when she said, "It's alright, it was an accident and it was nobody's fault". I think it pierced my heart, well, a little, everybody seemed to be irritated at me, I think that Happy is not happy anymore, Bashful is not blushing because he was shy, Sneezy stopped sneezing, Sleepy was now wide awake, Doc is looking down on me, Dopey looked like he has real emotions for once, and I felt like I'm going to die out of extreme guilt. I looked around, she was the only one smiling at me, I can still hear her words echoing in my head, "Come on, its alright, I can bake another one". When I think about it now, that day at Happy's 20th birthday I said and did the stupidest thing in my whole existence. After, hearing what she said, I can still remember what I said, I looked up at her, and I said, "No, don't bother, everything you cook is a big failure, and I am not apologizing either, because that cake is right where it belongs… in the trash". I can see her deep blue eyes getting sadder and sadder with every word I say. Happy rushed to my side, and he punched me straight in the face, the punch kind of made me go back to my senses. I saw her, she was in the verge of crying. I can't stand it anymore, I didn't punch Happy back, I just ran out of the house and into the woods, away from their sight, and most importantly away from her. I climbed a tree and looked at the light of our house from a distance. I looked up into the sky, it was a very starry night. Yes, just like the night that we first saw her. The smell of freshly baked apple pie filled the air, I wonder how that pie would taste like. After the scent, came the sounds. I can hear it, her voice. If I'm not mistaken, she sings soprano. I don't know that much in music, but I think that she can sing well. I think that she is singing the 'Happy Birthday Song' to Happy. The next thing I know, I was falling asleep, the lights on the house are also turning off one by one. Everything seemed so quiet now. The evening breeze is just fine because it was the middle of spring. I think I can live in this branch forever. Well, that or just go back and apologize to her, no, that can't be an option.

Suddenly, I heard something moving towards me. She was looking for me. Right now I can still remember her voice calling my name over and over again. For some reason I don't want her to stop calling me. But it seems that her voice is getting farther and farther and I think that maybe if I don't show myself soon she will get lost. Oh dear, the thing I fear most is happening right now, I have to take responsibility for her. So I climbed down the tree and looked for her, it's a good thing that my firefly friends helped me find her, she was about to fall into a cliff. Well, she's a princess, what do you expect? If I remember correctly, seeing that she was going to fall into a cliff didn't made me nervous…or did it? Anyway, I asked her not to make a single move, it was pretty surprising that she was obedient, so I pulled her into safety. Now that I look back, I am nervous back then, because if I'm not, how could I possibly be able to talk to her again.

The fireflies are still lingering around us, and I have to admit, she is beautiful… just this once! You know because of the odd light and all…anyway, back then, if I still remembered correctly, I tried to walk away from her, but she stopped me, in fact she was the one who asked for my forgiveness. I can still remember when she said, "I am really sorry, that I didn't run after you when Happy hit you with his fist, I am also very sorry that I was not holding the cake properly and I am really sorry that I have been a great disturbance to you and if my cooking displeases you, I also want to apologize for that".

I looked back at her, she looked like she was going to cry yet again. I asked her to sit down on a trunk of a fallen tree. I rubbed the back of my head. Seriously, back then I don't know what to say. When she's merely sitting like this I'm actually taller than her, it made me a little happy. I sighed, if I remember correctly, this is what I told her, "You shouldn't be sorry for not running after me, I am not your responsibility and I know I kind of hurt your feelings…uhmm…back there. I think I'm also… sorry because I was the one who tripped. Yes, you are a great disturbance, but your cooking, it does not displease me…maybe". She smiled at me, and patted my head and then she kissed my forehead, and then she said, "Thank you very much, Grumpy". That was my first kiss, but it didn't felt right, I think she doesn't know that I'm older than her, maybe she doesn't think that I am a man, I mean, I know that she knows that I am a boy but you know she doesn't look at me like, ugh! You get the picture, and maybe she doesn't know that someone like me can also fall for her…but I'm also not saying that I am falling for her. Duh… just stating the facts here.

I tried to shake of my confusion and all of my weird feelings. Right after that, I told her that we should go back home because it was getting late, she agreed with me. I can still remember the surprise I felt back then, when I saw the pie that she baked especially for me. I was so happy, the pie even had my name on it. She told me that this pie is made to celebrate our reconciliation; I asked her why made her so certain that I would forgive her, yes, I can still remember that the term I used back then is 'forgive'. She smiled and told me this, "I am very certain that you are not a bad person. You only try to make us look at you that way, and I know that the things that you have said back then are only because you are confused or maybe because you don't know what to do, good people say not so nice things when they get confused", it is a little bit surprising that I can still remember the things that she said back then, even though among the seven of us, I don't have the best memory, and I'm not quite sure who does but I know that I don't have the best memory. Once again I felt the pinching sensation in my heart, or in my chest, I am not really sure, I swallowed hard, yes, I can still remember clearly, and I think that while this is all happening I was sitting on the dinning table and she was standing. I looked at her and I told her, "You don't know me that much, so stop acting like you know everything! Just go to bed!"

She just smiled at me, she patted my head once again and surprisingly I was waiting for a kiss, but she didn't give me one, no, not this time. She said goodnight and I told her, "whatever". I was left alone with that wonderful apple pie.

The next morning, I can still remember it as if it was yesterday, nobody talked about the incident last night. Happy was happy again and everybody is their usual selves once again. As usual, she cooked us a delightful breakfast, and as usual she ate with us. Everybody was very busy chatting. Then all of a sudden, I had this strange impulse to warn her, yes, that was the first time that she was warned about strangers, the other dwarves have told it wrong, we don't usually warn her about strangers because the only creatures who know the direction to our house are our close friends. The other dwarves laughed at me, but she didn't, she said that she will do as I have told her.

We left her and went to the mine in the mountain. The hours went by hurriedly, and soon enough it was lunch time. For some reason while everybody else is chatting happily like always, while they were eating, I was a little bit, I don't know, disturbed? I guess… The others don't really notice the frown on my face because I'm always frowning, so a little more frown lines wouldn't be that noticeable. In fact, back then, I was so worried about her, yeah, I was worried about her for some reason that I don't know, that I thought that I was eating a chicken sandwich when I'm actually eating a cheese sandwich! I needed a reason to go back to our house, without looking weird. Then all of a sudden, our friend, the deer, Bambi, came running towards us. He looked worried; he said something about the princess, falling down and some old hag. With just those statements we all knew what to do. We gathered all our tools, pikes, mallets, everything and put them in our cart. We all hurried towards the house.

When we get there, Doc entered the house, there was some loud noise and then suddenly this ugly old woman came out, yes, I've seen worse, but an ugly person only gets uglier when you are certain that she has done something despicable. She ran out, they didn't care to run after here, but I did. I ran after her to the cliff, when I looked behind me, there was Happy, Dopey, Bashful and also Sneezy. We cornered her to the cliff. She didn't looked scared or did she? Her face was so distorted that it was hard to tell and laughing menacingly like she did, back then, wouldn't help detect either. We decided to step forward and try to… I don't know, well I have never killed a person, Happy is always so happy that he doesn't have a reason for violence, Sneezy is allergic to almost anything, but now that I think about it, I'm not really sure about Dopey. We stepped forward to get closer to her, and then all of a sudden she chanted something and fire surrounded her, of course, fear was displayed in our eyes, she laughed and insulted us. Well, that was my first encounter with high- level magic, I don't know about the others but I was terrified, but since I'm frowning I think they didn't notice, I guess, I hope. I looked at the others, everybody seemed terrified as well, but I'm not so sure about Dopey, he looks weird as usual and then he suddenly chanted something as well, the clouds darken, well, it is midday, I looked up towards the sky and saw that a great storm is raging up there. Rain fell and what do you know? Her firewall was put out. Did Dopey did that? Well, back then, I'm not sure, right now, yes, I think it is him. Why? You should read his biography. As I was saying, I don't know what to do, I let my pike slip from my hands, it landed with a thud on the ground, the old hag laughed at me, but I'm not insulted. I can sense the fear in her laughter, I picked up a stone and threw it at her, back then I also don't know what I wanted to accomplish or why I did that. She backed away, the others also dropped their weapons and threw stones at her. The others must also have their reasons since they are all throwing stones at her. She walked backward and then she slipped, and then she fell into the cliff. I don't know how to make it sound more exciting. Dopey chanted something again and lightning came down from the heavens and followed her, so there is no way in hell or heaven that the old hag is alive. Soon enough the sky cleared.

We didn't have a victory party, even though it was everybody's first kill and it was also a righteous one. Upon returning to our house, when I remember it, all I can do is sigh. Doc and the others were surrounding something and they were all crying, I saw something shine. I ran towards them, when I saw what they were gathered upon, my knees grew weak and I fell to the ground. I want to stand up but I don't have the energy, maybe all that running probably just made me tired or… not. Happy, Sneezy and Dopey, followed, I can't see their expressions, but the sound of the sniffs and sobs grew louder. The sun shone brighter at the glass coffin containing our dear princess. After a while of controlling the urge to cry, I gave in and gave my share of tears. I maybe grumpy and frowning all the time, but I also have feelings. Since we were all crying, nobody seemed embarrassed at all, now that I think about it. Yes. I wasn't embarrassed at all, even though the birds and all the other animals were watching us. What right do they have? They were crying too! Everybody was so busy crying that nobody cared to ask what really happened. I don't remember who asked but, we learned that the princess was poisoned. She was given a poisoned apple by the old hag and she ate it. I can still remember that I was so angry and upset at her. What a stupid way to die! Why is she such a glutton? We have an apple tree in our backyard so why does she have to eat something given to her by some suspicious looking, ugly stranger! I was banging the glass coffin, I was hoping for her to open her eyes, smile at me and say something nice or ask for our forgiveness, but, no, she's just laying there. Death didn't alter her beauty. She looked like she was just sleeping peacefully. Seeing her like that gave me a momentary calmness. I walked out from the scene.

I climbed the same tree that I climbed the night before. I felt really, really tired all of a sudden, maybe the reason why my knees bent is not really tiredness. My broken heart helped me fall asleep. I was awakened by the sound of a galloping horse. I climbed down, it is still bright, its still not nighttime. I sighed and went back to the others.

There was this man. No, just a boy, by the looks of it, he's a human, his age maybe ranging from 16- 18, I guess. I can still remember his face correctly, yes, the prince who came that day. He was talking to the others; it seems that he was requesting them to remove the lid of the glass coffin. I am not really sure what was happening so I didn't jump into the scene like I do usually. I was also kind of hoping that he would be able to help her; there was this small hope in me that perhaps he would be able to save her. As the others removed the lid of the coffin my heart is aching so much like my blood would leak out of my body. I felt like I am going to cry again, back then I was asking myself, "Where did my hopes go?" Everybody seemed to be hoping as well, and then we were all surprised, yes, I can remember the surprise we all felt, when…when he leaned forward and…and…and kissed her. I don't know how to react, he just kissed her, and she was dead, what will I do about it now? I was frozen on the spot, my eyes were roaming around to see the others reactions, right now I can't remember any of their expressions back then. The only thing that I can remember vividly was how beautiful the princess looked when she sat up and kissed the prince back. The prince didn't looked all that surprised, he carried her out of the glass coffin. I felt so much jealousy at that moment, more jealousy than I have ever felt in my entire life, I felt jealous of the prince's strength, his height, his brown hair and eyes, actually that was the first time that I have ever felt conscious of my blue hair, and most of all I felt jealous because of his relationship with the snow white princess. They have this special bond, they have this extraordinary feeling surrounding them, I don't…I mean…I can't explain it. It's like there were invisible strings connecting them.

At that moment back then, I felt myself question everything. How did the prince found her, when our house is hidden in the forest and no mere creature can find us? Why in all places did the snow white princess came to live with us? Why did that kiss brought her back to life? Why am I feeling jealous? Why am I feeling this way?

I can still remember what she did before riding away with the prince. She hugged everybody, but I didn't want to join in, I can still feel the terrible ache in my heart back then. But, our farewell is not a sad one, I can still remember her, walking towards me, she hugged me and whispered; "Thank you very much, Grumpy". She hugged me and kissed me on the cheek. it made me wonder if we had a third kiss would it be on the lips? I watched her and her prince ride off in the sunset. Of course, there was still the unexplainable pain in my chest, but for the first time in my life, _I smiled_.

I think she and the prince had their happy ever after. Why? Well, I never heard any bad rumors or bad news regarding them and the kingdom was peaceful, well…sort of.

Any questions? Oh yes…Your asking why I'm writing this seven years later at the night before my marriage? Please don't ask that, because I don't know either. You want to ask why I'm remembering her after all these time? Well… right now that will be an easy one to answer… _how can I ever forget my first love_?


	2. The whimsical one

**I am very happy that someone read my story!!! And even gave a review! Is it alright to mention names here?? Best regards to Sweet Sedaytion! Uhmmm…so to all the people who tried to read the previous chapter, to all the people who did read the first chapter, and to all the people who liked it…this chapter is dedicated to ya!~ : )**

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You used to be the queen of the kingdom and I am but a half- dwarf. You are a master mage and I am nothing but a wannabe.

Right now, I am not sure about anything, well… there is one thing that I'm sure of. That is… that is… that is I still love you.

I am only seven years old when I first saw you. You were my angel. I can still remember clearly, because my memory never fails me, the day when I woke up on your cottage, the day when I first saw you, your golden smile comforted me, your gentle voice reassured me, and your touch put away my fears.

I was born into an eccentric family, but even though it was odd, my family is full of love. My father is a human and my mother is a dwarf. They love each other very much, so much that when my mother died, my father followed her two years later, leaving me behind. I don't harbor any bad feelings towards them, I mean, don't you find it romantic? Death did not separate them. Even though back then people will think that I am too young too understand, I understood the meaning of loving unconditionally perfectly. After leaving my dead father in our house, I set out to find my cousins. But unfortunately I got lost, well, I am never good with directions, and remember, back then I was only seven years old. I passed out and you found me. You took care of me and you… I think… I hope… loved me as I love you.

I was 13 years old when I found out that you are working in the palace, you are the palace's sorcerer. Back then I was also interested in magic, because my mother used to practice minor spells in our home back when she was alive and I can still remember them perfectly. You were surprised by my sudden interest in your profession. But that aside you still tutored me. Every time I perfected a spell, you smiled and you clapped your hands. I love you, I love your auburn hair , your white teeth, your bronze skin, your tantalizing eyes, but I also know that you, falling for me is a one in a million chance. Every minute that I spend with you is a treasure deep within my heart.

I was sixteen when I found out what real sadness was, that was when you came into the house wearing a smile that I have never seen before. You were dancing around. At first I was rejoicing as well, you know that your happiness is a double of what I feel. When I learned that the King proposed to you, I felt like my heart was being cut by a knife. I want to cry and tell you to never ever go, just stay with me. Even though I am not a king, I will and I can take care of you. But no, I will never say that, it will only be bothersome for you to think that you are hurting someone's feelings. You are too good hearted for that.

You told me that when you are queen you will never cease the practice of magic, you are still the palace sorcerer. Your smile was as bright as the sun when you told me that you will take me as your apprentice. I tried to smile and I succeeded. Everything was ready except for my heart.

The day of your wedding was a festival in the winter. It was surreal how beautiful you looked in you wedding gown. How beautiful your auburn hair was when it was simply hanging like that on your white wedding gown. I smiled so that you won't see how my heart is crying for you. That day, I also met her, the princess, her hair was as black as ebony, her skin was as white as the snow, and her lips the color of blood. She was only seven years old back then. She was smiling. I asked her why, her father was marrying another woman and her mother was dead. She smiled at me and told me, "I love my father and I also love mother, but mother is now gone. Father loved her, but he always cries at night, I can see his eyes are always red when he kisses me goodnight, and I cannot do anything for him, except to pray for him. Now he found another to love, but I still love him, even though it won't be the same". I smiled, that was the first time that I actually felt happy since the day you told me that you are going to be married to the king. I remembered how I felt about my parents and the lesson that they thought me about loving unconditionally and not asking or even hoping for something in return.

The days passed by quickly, you got busier and busier and the time we spent together diminished. When the two of us isn't together, I usually study about spells and try to practice them, the princess also come to play with me at times, she cheered me up. Everything was so peaceful that I didn't notice that danger is brewing in the inside.

I can still remember the night when you came into my chamber. A great storm was raging outside. I thought that you came because you have always been afraid of lightning and thunder, it almost escaped me that you already have the king to comfort you. You were crying, I was bewildered, I hugged you and asked you what happened, but you suddenly pushed me to my bed and pulled the sheets. I was confused and I was not sure what was happening, you stopped crying, now you were giggling. I was starting to get afraid of you, the lightning and thunder didn't scare you anymore and you were holding me like… like… like a lover. I want to question you, but you suddenly kissed me and sealed my lips. The kiss was just too sweet to be real. I have never dreamed of you like this. I tried to push you away but I don't want to hurt you. I was scared that maybe I was becoming mad and hallucinations are visiting me in my sleep. I don't want to think of that night as a dream, it was much too real to be a dream. I don't want to sin against the king, the princess or break my morals. I want to stand up but I can't, I love you too much, that you becoming like this pains me. I can't stand the confusion and I passed out.

You were still in my room when I woke up, its dawn and the storm subsided, the light of the lamp is flickering, you are sitting at the edge of my bed, you are looking more beautiful than ever in your night gown. I want to run away but you stopped me. I want to cry, I never dreamed of you holding me or kissing me like that, but you did, you just did. That night you told me that you, love me, love me… the sound of it still echoes in my head, your voice when you said, "I love you, Andrei". I told you that I love you as well, but I also told you that everything in this situation is wrong, everything including our feelings. I even told you that this is treason. You simply smiled at me and kissed my forehead and you left me.

Days passed, weeks passed, you and me never spoke about what happened that night, in fact we have never spoken since then, I studied my lessons alone and I avoided you, but if I only knew what was happening to you in the inside, I should have spent more time to understand you and talk to you. But I avoided you, nothing can excuse me for my faults, if only I knew…

My fears and confusions passed me by, since you acted like nothing happened, I thought that maybe I really was dreaming that night, until it happened again…

I was sitting alone studying and practicing magic in the palace gardens late at night. You suddenly hugged me from behind, and whispered something in my ear, something I will never forget. Something I wish I didn't hear. You were crying again, I wanted to hold you and ask you why, but you only answered with, "He betrayed me, he doesn't love me, why? Am I not beautiful?" I wiped away your tears and told you that you are the most beautiful girl in the world to me, I told you once again that I really do love you, you stopped crying and looked me in the eyes. "Prove it", you said, "Prove it and kill the king". I stood up and searched your eyes for any emotions, but their blank, I felt like I was staring into an empty space, a black hole and I was getting sucked in. I didn't know what hit me that night, I made a poison and I put it in the king's drinking water, that morning the king died.

The whole kingdom mourned, but I cannot cry. I was dying on the inside, I felt like my soul left me, my heart was broken into a thousand pieces, I want to kill myself, I didn't even know why I did what I have just done. I want to cry but my eyes won't allow me. I went to the river to drown myself, I closed my eyes. While I was under the river waters I felt very peaceful, I can see that everything around me is blue even though it hurts my eyes, but suddenly before I was about to die, a voice spoke to me, "Son, do not let a single mistake hinder you to live your life. Yes, a single mistake is still a mistake but like all mistakes it can still be corrected, my son, I love you, we love you". My mother's voice awakened me from your spell, I managed to part the water so that the air can lift me up. That was when I realized how good I have become.

I was panting when I managed to reach the river bank. I removed my shirt and I saw a magic seal at the right side of my rib. That was when it struck me, that was when I truly understand, you are not the same woman I fell in love with, you changed. You enchanted me to do your bidding, to kill someone innocent. You even made me kill myself. You don't love me, you don't care about me anymore, you want me to just die and disappear because you don't need me anymore. My heart felt like it died. I want to cry, I want to shout to the heavens, but even though solitude overcame my soul, I never thought of dying ever again. I want to live my life all over again and write a brand new story.

I cried and shouted like my intestines will pour out, I ran around the river bank like a mad man, I jumped up and down. I wailed and I howled until my lungs gave out. I rolled around on the grass because my body cannot ran around anymore, I grew dizzy, I pulled by hair, I pulled it so hard that some of the strands were left in my hands, my hair was as green as the leaves of a pine tree. I remembered that once you told me that just looking at me reminds you of our home back in the forest. I smiled at the thought, it also made me cry, but it was not like my earlier cries. I was crying for you, I was crying because of what twisted you, what made you change and what will happen to you in the future. My sobs put me to sleep under the twilight sky.

When I woke up the next morning, I looked around me, I fell asleep on the river bank. Before I did anything else, I first removed the magic seal you put on me, it was hard, for your magic was stronger than mine, but I can feel that I am not the only one trying to remove it, there was another person. I smiled at the thought that perhaps mother was the one who was helping me. I knew what I was going to do, maybe the plan had been there all along. It had been what I originally planned. That was what I was really going to do before I met you.

I went back to the palace to talk to you and bid you farewell, but as soon as I saw you, my plans changed. I can still clearly remember how distorted you look while you are looking at that mirror, I hardly recognize you, your curly auburn hair is still the same, your bronze skin is still the same but there is something, something in you, your eyes, something that I don't recognize. You look so angry, I am afraid, afraid of you and what you might do. I can't stand it anymore, I ran past your window before you can take notice of me.

I ran to my room and gathered all my possessions. I want to thank you and apologize as well, I want to write you a letter, I want to tell you how badly I want to comfort you, I want to tell you that I still love you, no matter what. But right now, I can do nothing, I am too much of a weakling, I will come back for you. It took me eleven years to go back to my original plans. Since I am now a sorcerer, I managed to navigate easily to my cousins' house.

I don't want them to know or even think that I have the ability to practice magic. They were all happy to meet me, there were already six of them living in that cottage in the middle of the forest when I arrived. I want to be accepted soon, so I acted like I'm a dumb simpleton, like I don't really know anything. Seriously, when I Iook back at all that acting, it reminds me of Bashful. Why? The dear reader might ask. Well, it was never mine to explain, you should ask him. As I was saying, my cousins easily accepted me, even Grumpy who never smiles. They even gave me a new name because I told them that I'm so dumb that I don't remember my name, they called me _Dopey_. Things are always peaceful at the cottage, I was happy. But, even though I was living a carefree life, I was also afraid that I would lost my touch in magic so I still practice it everyday when everybody else is asleep. I was the one who always rearrange the path towards our house, but I also make sure that close friends of us will find their way.

A year passed, two years and then all of a sudden seven years of my life has gone too fast. Years passing me by didn't made me forget you. I am still thinking of you and missing you everyday, but perhaps I was hoping that maybe somebody may be out there to save you, someone stronger, someone who is taller than you, taller than me.

One night I suddenly dreamed of you. I don't dream that often and dreaming about you is something that even made it all that peculiar. I saw you and the snow white princess. You gave her an apple and she bit it. She suddenly fell to the ground unconscious. After that I woke up. That dream ruined my composure; I just have to see you.

The next morning I went to the castle, once again I looked through your bedroom window. You were talking to yourself on the mirror, well, at first I thought that it was like that, but then I heard your mirror speak. I was amazed at first but I remembered that nothing is impossible with magic by your side. I don't clearly remember what you and your mirror where talking about, but I think it was about you being the fairest in the land and the snow white princess being fairer than you. You left the mirror and talked to some one I can clearly remember when you ordered that blood thirsty hunter to capture the snow white princess and bring you her heart.

I was shocked, you really have changed, do you? What happened to you? What twisted you, my love? Is it vanity? Thirst for power? Or are you simply tired if everything? I…I should have been there to offer my shoulder for you to lean on when you are to tired to look at the reality in front of you. But that is impossible now, I should stop you. I should at least help the snow white princess escape from what you are planning to do. That's all I could do for now.

I went to her, the snow white princess is still the same, she has gotten taller than me by 2 inches. She still has those blue expressive eyes, the ebony black hair, those blood colored lips and her snow white skin. She called me by my name, fortunately she still remembers me. I told her of your plans. I ordered her to not fear, I told her that the whole forest is on our side so when the time comes that she was commanded to go to the forest, she will be able to escape. She smiled at me and thanked me.

I went back to our cottage to come with everybody to the mines. Of course I'm nervous, so I'm quite relieved that the snow white princess is sleeping on top of our beds that night.

Days went by. I never told anybody nor let them suspect me of knowing her, or knowing you. Everybody was very pleased with her, they all have their special memories and moments with her. But I doubt that she had any fun memories with Grumpy because he looks rather upset with her. The days we spent with her are all happy ones, well except for that one time on Happy's birthday. You should ask Grumpy to tell you that story, I bet that he knows every single detail. But I don't think that he will be willing to tell anyone about that.

After Happy's birthday that thing happened. I don't really want to speak of it now for it only pains my heart but since my life story will be lacking without it then, might as well…

As usual after the night of Happy's birthday we went to work at the mines, but all of a sudden while we were eating our lunch Bambi came and told us that an old hag came and that the princess has collapsed! I was so scared because it suddenly reminded me of my dream , but my fear went away when I saw everybody courageously gathering their tools and putting everything to their carts. Their courage must have rubbed on me.

I am not really good at making my life sound exciting, I'm sorry!

When we arrived, Doc went inside the house, a loud noise was heard and an old hag came out. I couldn't believe my eyes, it was you! Why did you- what happened to you? I mean…everything that I have known about you, starting from your personality, your character, even your appearance has changed, I mean…I am never looking at your appearance, I don't base my knowing of you from that alone, but now, that's gone as well…I cant distinguish who you are now! Who are you? Where is my beloved Marissa?

I just stood at that spot unable to move, unable to breathe, but then I saw Grumpy, he looked so gallant. He was carrying his pick and he ran after you. My brain was unable to think of what to do but my feet ran towards him and followed you as well. You were cornered to the cliff. I cant see your emotions, no, I cant sense any emotions at all. I really want to ask you, what destroyed you? What ruined you? When I looked back there was Happy, Bashful and Sneezy was there as well. I want to run towards you and hold you, comfort you and say that it will be alright, but no, you chanted a low- leveled magic spell. Where did my master go? You cursed us and laughed at us. In no time a low class firewall was surrounding you. Back then, when I think back all my feeling were drained, my mind went blank and the only thought left was to save you, even if it means destroying you. I created a great storm, rain came from the heaven, it poured all over us, it destroyed your firewall. You insulted Grumpy. He threw a stone at you, the others soon followed, but I didn't do as they did. I just couldn't. My senses went back when you were about to fall from the cliff I want to save you, you know that, I know I can, but I don't know if you really do want to be saved. I summoned lightning to come after you, no, that's what they thought, I want all of them to think that you are now gone, that thing that came after you was just light. I will just leave the ending of your story to you, my love.

When we went back, everybody was mourning. I cried as well, I just can't help myself. I should have done more to prevent the snow white princess's death, but maybe I also want her to die so that you can be happy, but no, I don't. I love life and I love people. I also love my friends and she was my friend. We did everything to maintain her beauty, even putting her in a glass coffin.

In fact, her beauty still mesmerized someone. A prince passed and asked for directions, I don't really know, but I think that he's the eldest son of the neighboring kingdom's king. My spell has worn out so people can see a path to our home. The prince was so mesmerized by her that he still wanted her even though he knows, we told him, that she is now dead. The prince kissed her and surprisingly she came to life. I was shocked, she and the prince have this instant connection. It made me wonder. Did you and I had that as well? I want to hope.

I know that this story will have a happy ending, I knew it. The snow white princess and the prince went to the neighboring kingdom, they will settle there. The princess invited me to become the palace sorcerer. Just like you, my love. Just like you. Since it was my dream, I accepted.

My life has been filled with happiness since then. I have helped lots of people with the help of magic. I never stopped loving, well, there are lots of love in this world. For instance, love for my country, love for my people and love for everything! Of course, my love, I still care for you, you know I do because_ you are the love of my life._


	3. Extra Chapter: The one who wonders

So.. uhmmm… I think I've been out of it for weeks, and I have been doing on this extra chapter for a while now… *sigh* I think ive been too busy.. but before anything else.. I, once again, would like to thank all the people who tried to read, did read and those people who gave a review… I really fell in love with the magic of this story so… *ahem*… enjoy!! I think…

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Why? Why am I writing this? What was I to do with these things anyway? Wait, who am I really anyway?

I am not really one of those golden hearted people to begin with anyway, wait, nobody really does posses a heart of gold, because if they do they will die. But I am not some evil being, I care about the people and things that I want to care about, but about the beings that I don't care about- well, I just don't care. I'm sorry if I'm saying these things out of the blue, its just… I don't really know where to begin with or what to say.

I can still remember that day, it was really bright and the surrounding smells really familiar. I woke up on a bed, and my body hurts really bad, its feels like a broke a bone or something. I don't know why but I felt safe here. I looked around and I saw you, I didn't saw your face because you were a wearing a hooded cape and also a mask to hide your face. There was something about you, it felt like your mere presence reassured me of my safety. I trusted you, even though I do not know you, even though I can't see your face. You gave me medicine, I drank it. I felt better, in fact I felt younger. But I passed out.

When I woke up that evening you were gone, you just left me a note stating that you must leave and I should eat the porridge that you left for me, you also told me that after eating I should go back to sleep. I was surprised that the porridge you left me was still warm, even though it seems that you left in the afternoon.

Every morning when I wake up, without fail you were always there. You always gave me that medicine which made me pass out and as usual I wake up every evening, with that same porridge that always makes me sleepy.

I gathered all my courage one morning to actually talk to you. I stood up from bed. I noticed that I was taller than you, by six or five inches. But even though you are short, I don't know… there is this air of power surrounding you, it made me afraid. I asked who you are. You told me that you are my humble servant. I asked why, am I someone important? You told me that I am very important to you, so you are taking care of me. I asked you if I am important to you then why are you always leaving me. You told me that I should just go back to rest. Actually, I also don't want to know the answer to the last question.

That night when I woke up, I saw you, you were still there, I was surprised, but I was also glad. Even though it was night time it was very bright inside the house, it made me wonder. Can you control the light? I don't want to know the answer, it made me afraid. I tiptoed so that you won't know that I am already awake. You were sleeping on the table. It seems that you have removed your mask, as well as your hooded cape.

I looked at you in wonder. You have green hair, and it reminds me of something. It has the color of some tree's leaves, I can't remember the name. I touched you and then you suddenly woke up, you hurriedly put back you mask and your cape and head for the door. I ran after. Why are you leaving me again? I want you to stay. I tripped, my head hit the floor and I felt dizzy, I don't want to pass out but I did.

You were on my bedside when I woke up, you were holding my hand. It was raining. The bright light inside the room disappeared. All that was left was the flickering light of the lamp. Then I hear a familiar sound, did something crashed? By instinct I hold on to you. You were still wearing the mask and the cape, I didn't care, I just want to hold on to you, no matter who you are. You hold me as well. Another crash, it was louder, I held on to you tighter. I think I was crying, I don't care, as long as your with me, I don't care.

I fell asleep in your arms, I keep falling asleep and I don't know why. Actually I don't want to know the reason either. There are a lot of questions in my mind but I don't want to know any of the answers. I think I already know the answer, I subconsciously know the answer to everything but I don't want to know. I'm afraid of the answers. I want everything to stay like this, _you with me and me with you_. Even though I was always sleepy and your not with me when night time comes, its alright, I don't care. It makes me wonder why I'm this attached to you, but then again, I don't want to know why.

When I woke up that morning, you were still there. You were not by my bed side anymore. It seems that you have cooked breakfast. The food was only served on one side of the table, you asked me to eat. The mask made your voice weird. There was a weird feeling in me that was searching for something. I asked you things about yourself. You told me that you were a half- dwarf. I asked you what the other half was. You told me that you were half human. I asked you if I'm a dwarf as well. You told me that I'm pure human. That's when I knew we had this divergence, but I don't care. I asked you what other things you do. You told me that you work for the monarchs of the kingdom. I want to see your expression but you are wearing a mask. I don't even know what your real voice sounds like. Who are you really? Out of all the questions in my head that was the only one that I actually want to know the answer to.

Days went by and I think I'm getting better. The food that you usually serve me doesn't make me sleepy anymore. But I still pretended to be weak because I think that if I show you that I'm better you will leave me. But judging from what you did next, you knew that I have became better.

One morning you came and woke me up with the smell of milk tea. It was a really sweet smell. You usually don't give me tea in the morning, but today was different. You also gave me fruits for breakfast, as usual I ate alone and you sat at the opposite side of the table. After I finished eating, you suddenly gave me money, and you told me that I should buy something for myself, I asked you why. You just said that it would be a nice change of pace. You said that you have work that day so you wouldn't be able to accompany me, so you left me, that was the first time that I actually saw you leave.

For some reason, I didn't went after you. Maybe I also want to go out, or… maybe not. Maybe I should try to do as you have told me because everything that you have told me is what's right for me. That is also one of the things that I actually know.

I remembered to put on a coat before I went out. The outside of the house was rather… I don't know how to describe it. Let's just say I'm more comfortable inside. But since I'm already outside, might as well get on with it. A path opened right before my eyes, it made me wonder, but then again I don't want to know why that happened. I followed the path, it was bright yet it was kind of chilly, it made me grateful that I put on a coat.

The path lead me straight to the market. It really was weird. There weren't that many people in the market place. When I arrived there, people kept staring at me, it made me uncomfortable. A little boy walked towards me and gave me a flower, he told me that I'm very beautiful and everybody else must think so too, so I shouldn't frown. I smiled at him and thank him. It made me a little happy, being around people like this, it felt familiar. I don't know why… but it felt like I belong, but there is still something, something that is holding me back.

The little boy didn't leave me. He told me that he is the son of the town baker. He told me that he can do whatever he pleases until sunset so he can accompany me. I don't know much about the town so his company made me really happy.

He asked me what I want to buy, seriously, I don't really need anything for myself, so I've decided that I will just buy something for you! The thought of it excites me.

Now that I think about it, I don't really know you that well that it makes me sad. I have to make an effort to know more about you, not just to buy a gift, but because I want to, and I don't know why!

We looked through many different shops, we both don't know what we were looking for, but the boy seemed to enjoy it. I want to buy something that you would be able to use everyday, but I don't even know what you do for the monarchs. Seriously, you were pretty much a stranger to me, but its really strange how much you care for me and how much I'm attached to you. What am I to you anyway? When you told me that I'm someone important to you, why is that? As what? As a sister? As a friend? Or as a friend's friend? Or maybe… I may be struck by lightning if a dare think about it… but maybe perhaps as a lover? Thinking about it only saddens me.

After walking endlessly and listening to the little boy's endless chatter, I managed to buy you a gift. I don't really know if you will like it, but at that moment I didn't think that far ahead. I was only thinking how good the mask will look on you, with your green hair, hair as green as the pine trees near… the… near the… Am I suppose to remember or know something out of this? Anyway, I think that it will really suit you. Me and the boy waved goodbye, I promised him that I will come again with you some other day. His enthusiasm really makes me smile.

The odd paths managed to lead me home. Upon returning to our house, I felt as if there is something missing so I cleaned up everything. But after I finished getting the last bit of dust out every corner of the house, I felt as if there is still something missing. Oh right! I have never taken a bath ever since I saw you so that explains why I'm feeling kind of sticky. But wait, I almost forgot about a very tiny detail. Where will I wash myself, there are no bathrooms in sight. There isn't even a single tub in the cottage.

I went outside the house, I was surprise once again when the trees parted and revealed a path. Are trees really supposed to do that? Maybe, maybe not. I don't really care. Once again I followed the path, it was almost sunset when I arrived at the end of the path.

At the end of the path, was a lake. The red sky reflected on its glass like surface. It reminded me of something, something… something red, but I don't really want to think more of that thing. I removed all my clothes and put it on top of a huge but smooth rock. The water is a little cold but it felt good. Somehow I don't fear drowning and I don't know why. Maybe I used to be a good swimmer or… not. The water is not deep, it barely reached my chest. I swam around for a bit, it felt nice that I didn't noticed that it was getting dark.

When I noticed, I stood up and prepared to leave, but I suddenly heard somebody coming. The footsteps are brisk but it's not heavy, it was only audible because the person was brushing past bushes. Maybe a woman was coming or… not. I don't really care if someone comes they wouldn't see me anyway, the lake is huge. I sunk myself lower, so my face is the only thing above the water.

I saw someone come from the other side of the lake, it was already dark so it was hard to see the person's face. The person walked towards the lake, I watched closely. The person continued to walk, that I almost didn't notice that the person was walking on the water, the person walked to the center of the lake, I couldn't believe my eyes. Is that even possible? From one side of my mind a voice was whispering that it is possible. But I shook it off with my reasoning.

The person at the center of the lake, standing on the water waved his hands and then suddenly the dark clouds in the sky parted and revealed a thousand stars that made the lake glitter. I was staring into the bright sky that it slipped my mind that I was hiding myself under the water, when I realized I was standing, and then I looked to the person who was standing at the center of the lake and then it finally registered in my mind that it was you!

I was shocked. Why? How? What just happened? I stood there unable to move for a moment, it was like I was staring into nothing, and it was then that I suddenly realized that you were walking towards and before I knew it you were standing in front of me. You looked so tall, it makes me scared. Why am I getting afraid of you anyway? My head is telling me something but I'm blocking it. I don't want to know. I don't want to remember.

You stretched out your hand to me and lifted me out of the water. I really am taller than you, but I still felt your authority over me. It seems that you have removed your hooded cape, you put it over me, that was the only time that I remembered that I wasn't wearing anything. But in front of you I don't feel embarrassed at all, it was weird.

You helped me put on the hooded cape, you fastened the buttons quickly. You were wearing a mask so I can't see your expression but I want to know. How do you react to this situation? You seems so calm, its odd, but I don't know why I think that its odd.

That was when I realized that by then I was also standing on the water. You told me to never let go of your hand or I will drown. You lead me to the center of the lake. For some reason I am not afraid and curios about the reason for these things. We made ripples in the glassy waters as we walked.

When we arrived at the center, you raised your free hand. For some reason I know what will happen next, but I'm shaking it all off. The water from the lake surrounded us and formed a circular wall, I cant see the forest anymore, all there was is the cerulean color of the water under the starry sky. The water also diminished, and now the part where we are stepping on looked like glass, no not just glassy, I really mean glass, all the blue was gone, it all seemed just transparent. For some reason, the look of glass was the only thing that hit me. I am not surprised, amused, curios or even taken back by the view, I wonder why. It seemed so ordinary all of a sudden.

You paused. I'm waiting for you to say anything, it seems that you are thinking of what to say next. You waved your hand and a rock grew from the place were standing, you told me to sit down. I obeyed. From this whole story my memories have been too vague but I can still remember the things that you said.

I don't want to be the first to say something because I don't really want to know what was happening. I can still remember when you said, there was this weird tone in your voice, like you were giving up, it makes me feel sad and I don't know why, "Do you really want to forget everything? Don't you want to remember?" I just stared at you blankly and shook my head. Have you read my mind? Well, I don't. I don't want to remember anything.

"Don't you want to remember your name, where you came from, and all those other things that made up your past?"

Now that you've said that, I am getting quite curios, but I still don't want to know…or not. I'm not sure. "If you know me that well, then when is my birthday?", I asked you, testing if you really do know me.

I don't want to hear your answer, then you kneeled, we were still holding hands. "Today", you said. It made my heart jump a little, I don't know if that's a good or bad feeling.

I don't know what to say or think anymore. "If I don't want to remember my past- then will you give up on me and leave me?"

You removed your mask. Your green hair… for some reason it draws me in. You with your indigo eyes looked deeply into my eyes. And then you said, "Why? Don't you want to remember?"

I felt like my soul been pierced by your stare. I really don't know what to do or how to react but… I don't know. "Will you leave me then?"

You smiled, "No, I've been with you at your best, I still loved you at your worst, and now I am with you still. Please don't question my love".

After hearing you say that, it made me wonder what life with you have been in the past. You even said something about love, but is it for me? I remembered how badly I want to know you. "Tell me, am I a good person?"

"It will differ on who you ask", you said.

It made me even more curios, its funny how you can manipulate my emotions and its weird how you can change my view on things. "Can you tell me all about it?"

Your smile grow brighter, "That's… really good then, I will let you borrow my memories". You stood up and touched a part of the water wall surrounding us.

I can suddenly see pictures, there was the house, the house that I woke up in. I can see me, so that's how I looked, honestly there was a part of me who have been afraid of mirrors since I woke up. The scenes seemed to come from the eyes of someone small. "That was me when you first found me", you said. Ohhh…

A thousand smiles and laughers flashed. A certain scene also entered, there were a lot of things flying around the room, a feeling of unexplainable happiness and excitement filled my heart, everything was unreasonable and unexplainable by plain logic but it was really fun. One word, kept repeating in my head, magic… magic… magic…

I want to think about it more but by then a new scene entered I can see myself looking all happy and singing, going on and on about getting married… to the king… and then when I wasn't in the scene anymore, everything suddenly turned gloomy and it feels like somebody was crying. Is it you? Are you crying for me? Oh, I know… the walls they're transferring your emotions to me as well. I glanced at you, you glanced back, you blushed, I pressed your hand and you held on my hand tighter.

The next scene looked all white, a sudden feeling of hopelessness entered my body, no, I was mistaken the scene isn't all white it was a wedding in winter. The bride, the bride is me, I looked so happy. The feeling of hopelessness still isn't leaving my chest.

There was a flash in the water, the hopelessness in my chest didn't left, the next scene seemed to happen in a dark room on a night of a storm, there was a lingering feeling of surprise in me. I saw myself step into the dark room I was crying, the feeling in my chest was confusion. I saw you hug me. Then I saw myself push you to the bed and pull the sheet to cover us both. I was surprised, I don't know if it is my reaction or your feelings. The feeling of confusion grew. I even saw myself kiss you! I think I should feel something else because of the kiss but I just felt confusion. The visons faded and then there was suddenly a great pang in my chest when I saw myself sitting by the edge of the bed. It feels like I was denying myself. I heard you saying that everything is a mistake, everything, including our feelings. A deep depression overcame my body, I can still clearly remembered that I want to vomit.

A thousand flashbacks of books and illogical happenings flashed. Then the scenes stopped. A brand new scene entered, it was in place that looked extremely familiar to me. I felt calm. Then I heard somebody whispered, "Just one spell and the throne is yours, just one word and I am all yours". I saw myself, I looked beautiful but… there's something, I don't want to know, GOD!! Stop it! I don't want to remember!

It seems that I was crying but I never really noticed, you were wiping away my tears when I realized, I looked at you, you smiled at me, "Perhaps I shouldn't have lent you the memories of some character from a tragedy, do you want to look at your own memories for this instance?"

For some reason, I really want to know but… for I now I just want to stop. I closed my eyes. Everything stopped. I felt a light touch on my forehead, and then a small voice, "Are you sure?"

I didn't really answered but the voice seemed to hear what I'm saying. "It's alright, you don't have to rush yourself, it's alright, we have all the time in the world". I just sat there in that rock not thinking anything, for what seemed like days, or weeks. I just feel the same comforting warmth in my hands, it was summer, the breeze is cool and comforting as well. I'm not thinking anything, it felt like I calmed down.

The voice spoke once again. "Perhaps, you want to know now?"

The voice seemed like, I don't know how to describe it, mellow and just calm, I guess. It didn't seemed like it was giving up or getting tired. It felt like it was cheering me. I don't know but for some reason, the warmth and comfort, gave me a certainty that perhaps knowing will probably be the key to my healing, because lately I'm getting tired of not knowing what to do or what to feel about things, I want to know what happened exactly. It's alright I want to.

"I'm very happy that you said that".

A series of scenes all taking place in a magnificent palace, yes, a palace, memories came pouring back, a king with bronze skin and brown hair, a queen with a fair complexion with auburn hair, she was carrying a baby boy. The baby has a fair complexion and brown eyes and hair. _This is the neighboring kingdom_, a different voice suddenly answered.

A series of events that led to a discovery of magnificent. A scene of argument with the king, the emotions came pouring back, _I love magic! There's no wrong in that! Why do I have to marry someone that I absolutely have no feelings for? In the last fifteen years of my life I let you chose for me, but no, I won't let you do that anymore! If you could control every single person in this kingdom, well… you can count me out! _

There's soldiers, many, many soldiers, no not just ordinary soldiers, knights, they were coming after me. I was running, they were all coming to get me. I tripped, the road is slippery, it was raining, I don't want to fall to the cliff, I don't want to die. If these people were to get hit by lightning, they wouldn't die right? I summoned lightning and thunder, many of them died. I couldn't bare the sight. It was biting away my conscience I managed to run away from them.

The void in my chest seemed to be growing bigger and bigger, by helping others with magic, I managed to fill in the void.

A day came, it seemed like the cure to the hole in my heart was cured. I found a boy, a boy with green hair. That day I became a mother, a sister and a friend. Days passed and I grew fonder and fonder of the boy. He taught me how to care and I taught him about the world of magic. The scenes flashed, a scene flashed when I saw myself dancing in the room saying that I would be married to the king. _I never really loved the king, but if it was for our sake then, I would do anything. I need this kingdom's protection. I know, I know about your feelings and I'm confused about mine too, but isn't our feelings wrong? _

The day I got married the void in my heart grew bigger. I don't know why. A series of scenes, showing that the king is a gentleman, and my struggle to try to love him. And… And the encounter with Mirror of Souls. A scene flashed, a different voice entered my mind, I don't understand it completely, it was distorted like many people were talking all at once. _Do you want to be happy? Do you want to get what you wanted without all the strife? Do you?_

_Of course! I ever so want to be happy! I want to be happy I want Andrei to be happy! I want the two of us to be happy! I want the two of us to be together in perfect happiness!_

Scenes flashed, it was showing things that I never thought that I would do, no, things I would want to do but my morals were getting in the way. I saw a scene where in I tried to force myself on you. _I want him, I want him more than my own life, I want to be with him, I want him to want me! I know that he wants me… the king? Who cares about that old fool?! I want to be with Andrei!_

And then... and then... for some odd reason everything went blank and when I realized I wasn't there anymore, no, _we_ weren't there anymore. The two of us were lying on the side of the lake, were holding hands. I was the first one to open my eyes, you weren't opening your eyes. I was so worried. I think… I think that you are dead. I was crying again. I slapped your face and peered in closer to see if you were breathing and then ever so mischievously you kissed me. You laughed and I smiled.

It seems that those things that you showed me that night, everything that I have learned, they were things that I already know in my heart. It seems that I didn't really completely forgot my past, I was just in denial. I want to run away from my past. But knowing you… You showed me that life, life isn't all that bad, even though bad things do happen, good things also happen, that's how the rhythm of things work. That's how you realize that's something is bad because you have seen the good. Of course healing would not be that easy but if were together, then I think it would be alright.

Now as I write this things that have seems to have no use for me in the future, I stare at your sleeping face, waiting for the dawn to break. Thanking _the love that saved me_.

* * *

Did it happened oh so fast? Did it drag on forever?? What do you think??? Oh please do give a review!!! Wait… is it just me or am I talking weird today??...


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